Cover:
Blurb:
This book is a collection of philosophical reflections, aphorisms, memoir fragments and social critiques written from the perspective of a mind navigating mental illness, modern society, identity, recovery and the search for meaning. Blending Buddhist thought, existential philosophy, mythology, psychology, pop culture and personal experience, the work explores themes of ambition, alienation, education, capitalism, loneliness, eudaimonia and the struggle to preserve one’s humanity within systems of competition and conformity. At once cynical, humorous, vulnerable and hopeful, these writings form the inner map of a person attempting to reconstruct dignity, purpose and self-worth beyond the narrow measures of status, productivity and societal validation.
MH Timeline:
1987: Born in Sri Lanka.
1991: Migrated to Australia with parents, who came on skilled-migrant visas.
1995: Parents open a Sri Lankan Restaurant called Gedera.
2001: SEPTEMBER 11.
2002: Gained admission to Melbourne High School (MHS)
2005: Completed VCE with a 98.00 ENTER.
2006: Gained admission to Monash University with enrolment in a Bachelor of Aerospace Engineering/Commerce.
2007: First episodes of Psychosis whilst on holiday in India and Sri Lanka.
2008: Admissions and various hospitalisations.
2011: Completed a Internship at Deloitte Australia.
2012: Travelled to Vietnam for a holiday.
2014: Live in a CCU for two years.
2015: Wrote my first eBook, ‘Project Maelstrom: A Recover From Schizoaffective DIsorder’.
2016: Move back home with parents,
2017: Clinically diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder.
2018: Employed in Supported Disability Employment.
2019: COVID.
2022: Wrote second eBook, ‘Across the Flood: Meditation on Mind, Modernity and Samsara’.
2024: Travelled to Europe (UK, Ireland, France, Italy) on a holiday with parents.
2025: Began doing Uber Eats.
2026: Opened at Etsy store to sell my artwork.
[Back]
General:
Reading philosophy became a key part of my recovery. What I attempt to exhibit below is the spectrum of my own general observance and motifs that derived from these readings.
00
In Greek Mythology Daedalus was a brilliant inventor who created wings made of feathers and wax so that he and his son Icarus could escape the imprisonment on the island of Crete. In my Australian Mythology, Somapala (Dad) was a brilliant Sri Lankan restaurant/takeaway shop owner that crafted wings of education so that Dinuka (Me) could escape the island of lower economic status. But unlike Daedalus, who warned Icarus not to fly too high, Somapala encouraged Dinuka to soar towards the Sun (of academic Elitism). Dinuka’s wings of Education melted in University and he dropped out into the Sea of Mental Illness.
00
Within the Cave System of MHS the accolades of academic award badges, tie colours we fought over in correctly identifying the shadows of ‘Duty’, ‘Honour’, ‘Success’ and ‘Courage’ etc, became much like the laurels of title bestowed upon the Cave prisoners.
00
My patronus would be Bertrand Russell, who for me convincingly argued that the glorification of relentless hard work was not purely a moral truth, but often a socially useful doctrine that benefited those in positions of power. I liked how he was critical of the idea that people must constantly labour to justify their existence, and he believed industrial society unnecessarily elevated work into a quasi-religious virtue. I would use my wand to summon him when encountering another MHS-like minded foe.
00.
People often ask me about Schizoaffective Disorder. How do I experience it? I feel sus about clinical labels, because I feel that mental illness is very subjectively experienced. Someone disclosing that they take mood stabilisers, anti-psychotics and anti-depressants can only reveal so much via that information. What did it mean to me? As a kid I always felt a degree of inaptitude in structuring my thoughts. I also felt that my range of conversation and emotional expressiveness was limited. The plight to express myself took on insecure proportions in my adolescence. Not being able to stream a flow of thoughts during in a written capacity and also public speaking provided great psychological difficulty within the frameworks of high school with its array of assessments. Not being able to summon and command my intellect to parallel my peers brought about degrees of existential dread and anxiety. It was augmented by the ultra competitive ethos I found embedded in my high school as well as the domain of VCE studies. Most of the time I could perform, but there were obvious times when my cognitive capacities would overclock and break down; and I would fail assessments. At the time I was being heavily conditioned into believing that academic success was the key gateway to findings one’s place in society. The unpredictable quality of my cognitive reservoir made me feel like I existed against the grain of society’s expectations of me. It also hindered my ability to smoothly amass degrees of social credibility in high school. I felt quite dysfunctional actually.
00
Citizen Kane, who acquires vast amounts of wealth, power, fame and political influence, utters the mysterious phrase ‘Rosebud’ (refering to a childhood sleigh) on his death bed, ultimately revealing that beneath the grandeur, Kane longed for something simply and irretrievably lost: the innocence, warmth and emotional security of his children before he was taken away from his family. Let it be a lesson for Citizen Mapa.
00
In a way, life as a child was kinda catatonic, though on the surface I probably appeared normal. I attribute my catatonic state to two main contributing factors. The first being a very dysfunctional and unstable family life which normalised domestic abuse. The second being the zealously competitive mindset ingrained onto me by my parents, schooling and ethnic community. What this served to do was install or hardwire a set of maxims into my psychological core. One, that my self worth was to be determined by the appraisals, assessments, evaluations of others. Second, that I must ‘Honour the Work’; a phrase directly burrowed from the motto of my high school. Thirdly, that it was imperative that I not deviate the slightest from societal expectations. Fourth, that all human interactions rested on upholding authority structures and established hierarchies. Fifth, that excellence equated to productivity within the sphere of society. Essentially, the run of such code enslaved me to a matrix of imagined orders with regard to my self worth and place in society. I feared stepping out of line. I feared making a bad impression of people. I wanted desperately to be perceived as the all Sri Lankan studious kid. I become malleable to the will of others. Unbeknownst to me I was essentially living in a Cave System; observing shadows of Forms on the wall.
00.
What is Psychosis? Usually it is defined clinically as an occurrence where a person loses touch with reality, or at least the collective reality. As in my case, it can involve auditory and visual hallucination. In 2007, I experience two episodes of it whilst travelling abroad in Sri Lanka and India. Both episodes involved a bending of my reality in a fashion that made me believe that complete strangers were out to harm me. I reflected a lot in trying to attribute a reason why they occurred. They both happened at Buddhist religious locales. There has always been the temptation to render the episodes through a superstitious lens. Was it a religious experience? Unlikely. Certain religious people I’ve shared the experience with have even unpacked the idea that I might have been possessed by Demons inhabiting the temples. I’d like to refrain from speculating as such. I feel that a lot of it was brought about my psyche manifesting or projecting my inner world and emotions at the time of the episodes occurring. I feel that our inner and outer worlds are intimately intertwined. There seems to be an interplay between our rational and empirical worlds.
00.
I thought it quite ironic that we were studying Macbeth in English studies at MHS; I mean the play does emphasise the peril of vaulting ambition that overleaps itself. The irony lay in the fact that ambition saturated the hallways. It was like the very air you breathed in.
00
Our bright futures at MHS were like corrupting rings of power gifted by VCAA.
00.
I wondered what exactly was the point of mass singing at MHS. I was repeatedly told by the year level coordinators that such mandatory curriculum served a multitude of benefits, from relieving academic stress to infusing school ethos; but it later occurred to me that it served a means of collective brainwashing, as the songs we sung were selectively chosen to reinforce the sacred motto or mantra of ‘Honour the Work’; it was programmed into us via the guise of collective participation.
01.
There can be intelligences outside the scope & context of the societal construct.
02.
There can exist a time threshold point in recovery where the universe begins to feel quite different, and everyone friendlier.
00
I liken the enrolment within a selective entry school as like being a subject in a black ops behaviour modification training program.
00
MHS technically stood for Melbourne High School; or was it Mental Health School? Not too sure.
00.
Without a university degree intwined in the DNA of my social credibility and status, I felt much like a second-class citizen with regards to opportunity and job markets, living in a Gattaca styled world where not passing through a prescribed gateway was a precursor to much discrimination.
00.
Just before failing to become an Aerospace Engineer; just before finally dropping out after Uni; I felt a bit like Vincent in Gattaca (1997), staring up at the rocket launches, and reflecting that (to refer to the that scene with that famous quote) even though I had never been close to my dream (of obtaining a degree), in actuality with the reality of mental illness I was never more further away from it. [01]
03.
I am thankful for the mind that I’ve been given; it is creative and has a philosophical disposition.
04.
Perhaps a secret to life is getting better at being happier for others.
05
I’m still uncertain about God, but I really like the Coldplay cover of the song In The Sun. [01]
00.
I would like to think that God can exist outside the biblical narrative or interpretation.
00
In the capitalist system the exemplar citizen is required to jump through a succession of hoops presented by the invisible hand., until the final bullet in the head. [01]
05.
There seems to be a common and consistent thread to time and our psyche that renders an intimate meaning to our personal experiences.
06.
There can exist legitimate pathways towards eudaimonia outside those prescribed to the graduate, employee, spouse, landlord, retiree & dead person.
07.
It doesn’t matter that no one registers that I’m great; ‘I’ am realizing greatness in myself in many unique ways and in the end that self-sufficiency is all that matters.
08.
I feel at times that the local thought-police must sharply inquire about my profession out of the urgency to establish how as a piece I fit into the jigsaw of society. I remain adamant that my role is a wizard, which never satisfies them, even though in my recovery I have had to play and harness raw mental energies of volition to transform the realities around me.
00
I was like the Morning Star that descended into Hell.
09.
At some point on the journey comes the self-realization that, ‘I am Dinuka The White, no longer The Grey’.
10.
Perhaps the best revenge is sourcing happiness and moving on with one’s life.
11.
Being an artist, writer and philosopher has proven a poor source of income, but a rich source of happiness.
12.
I am poor, but happy. I am told that neither are ‘good enough’ by the agents. What do they know?
13.
The enforced hierarchies embedded within the arenas of society can often be constructs; illusory protocols to uphold established power dynamics and status quo. I feel that a great part of the time they serve to coerce a citizen into adherence and conformity, and that questioning them is felonized by social agents out of an ingrained cognitive paranoia that it would undermine the whole structure of society.
14.
Citizens deeply plugged into the system often become hostile and unreceptive when you attempt to unpack the amount of tanha, thirst or consumption that runs in the background of their life philosophies.
00.
I feel that in hypercapitalistic white-collar job markets of Melbourne (2026), the employee is devoured by the corporate beast who parallels Moloch of Metropolis (1927) [01].
00.
In the SimCity Magnasanti, “The economic slave never realizes he is kept in a cage going round and round basically nowhere with millions of others”, according to its creator, Vincent Ocasla. I wonder if Melbourne is much different? [01]
15.
I am a fly stuck in the web of society, waiting from the hypercapitalist spider to devour me.
17.
The high school environments have been the indoctrination grounds to mould impressionable young minds into adopting 'hard-working' or 'honest-toil' ethics/principles, under the guise of morality and social duty; but it is just done to oil and lubricate capitalist (gear) systems that largely benefit the ruling elite.
18.
'Honour the Work' was the school motto of the high school that I completed my VCE. Sounds so stupid + highlights the indoctrination.
19.
The herd-student is one enamoured with ambition and thirst via the academic indoctrination; insisting that they ethically study and toil to rend collective/societal benefit, when in actuality they are just purely self-interested and desperate to secure a place or foothold in society: status, recognition, career, partner, wealth etc. Under the light of the self- interest inherent in human behavior and capitalist systems, the argument that such endeavours are pursued out of social duty are utterly ridiculous.
00
This might be an abrupt view, but I feel that the modern archetype of the suburban migrant asian student is that they must toil relentlessly to excel at their VCE studies. They do this usually under the whip of their asian parents who inhabit wealth, status and honour seeking mentalities. The selective school provides an accessible and economical pathway to achieve this. The door towards social credibility is made to seem wide open to the asian willing to enslave themselves to the notion of hard work. Normally this door would only be accessible to the student of private education systems; something that the parents of the poor migrant asian kid can never afford. And on the principles of scarcity, we observe an explosion of competition between the asian students to secure a spot or placement. It doesn’t end there. Going through the admissions doors places the asian student with a requirement to pass from the University entrance door; another obstacle governed by scarcity. This is how the asian student is engineering into the ‘productive’ citizen; through the mechanism of scarcity, financial limitation and hyper-competition. Quite dystopian.
21.
Economic slavery can seem a very real reality for the citizen. who is made to choose between civil obedience to capitalist systems, the alternative being poverty.
22.
Teachers of rigid institutions are often praised, but they can also be likened to production workers on the societal assembly like, using education as raw materials to manufacture students as cogs for capitalist machines - much in the theme of Pink Floyd's song, 'We Don't Need No Education'.
23.
Under the current direction of society, I feel education has been largely valued by citizens and overseers as a precursor to qualification, which then is a precursor to economic activity. But I would like to think that an education can be pursued simply for the sake of learning; outside monetary ends. What about education as a precursor to Philosophy?
30.
It saddens me that education is seen merely as a road to temporal success and merit, rather than one of philosophical growth and discovery.
31.
I wish my formal education had been less transactional or about utility, and more about human transformation and rawer understanding of the human condition.
00.
After MHS, going to a co-ed University environment felt a bit like being Pyle in Indochina, having idealistic notions of Love and seeing a Phuong in every girl you encounter at campus. Yes, I felt a bit like The Quite Sri Lankan. What I am trying to say here is that MHS; going to an all boys school environment; made me quite naive, foolish and unready. The concept of single sex education I gather is to remove the ‘distraction’, but in my case I really felt a degree of sexual segregation , that ultimately detracted from my psychological maturity and wellbeing. And is observing this, I am to strongly advocate for co-ed education; restricted adolescent social environments can distort later relational perception.
00.
At times I felt like young Skywalker staring up at the binary sunset on Tatooine; wanting to escape my mundane life and save the Universe. [01]
32.
Education shouldn't be about enrollment. Through books and libraries it should be free (or cheap) and accessible to everyone. Education is the precursor to Wisdom, and I feel that Wisdom can exist outside transactional Qualification.
33.
I would like to believe in a society where I can reside outside the borders of credentialism and unbridled meritocracy
34.
I feel that when we treat schools or universities like vending machines for degrees, we completely strip away the magic of wonder.
35.
The inequality installed in society with regards to educational opportunity and resources seems The inequality installed in society with regards to educational opportunity and resources seems to compound generationally in education systems nested in capitalist societies, with money creating much disparity.
00.
Alice ventured down the Rabbit Hole and met the Caterpillar, who prescribed mushrooms to alter height. Dinuka ventured down and met the Psychiatrist, who prescribed with his pad anti-psychotics to alter brain neurochemistry.
00.
Sometimes, it can be argued that in the long run, embracing insanity and venturing down the Rabbit Hole can be the best thing for us.
00
Remember, Neo had to follow the girl with the rabbit tattoo to meet Trinity.
36.
In theory, education is pitched as the ultimate equalizer, a pure meritocracy. But in practice, within a capitalist framework, it often functions more like a mechanism for preserving and legitimizing class structures.
37.
Sociologists and economists, in analysing education nested within capitalist systems have long pointed out the intergenerational transmission of advantage—or, more bluntly, the compounding interest of privilege.
38.
The optimized extraction of surplus-value from the citizen deliberately leaves them with very diminished quantities of leisure time to establish alternate modes of eudaimonia or enrichment outside production and economic systems.
39.
I find it both disturbing and amusing that we live in a society obsessed with the drive for progress where the advancement and continuity of humanity overrides all practical and natural reason; consuming and devouring vast amounts of energy and resources, weighed against the very real possibility and the reality that we are probably just an ant colony floating on a rock in space and time; the universe will experience phenomena long after our extinction.
40.
When we all potentially migrate to a new human colony in the future aren’t we just going to translate war, pestilence, inequality, hypercapitalism, economic enslavement, poverty etc, to another planet or star system?
41.
It is kinda blindsided that we insist on being the good guys as a race, based on this manufactured idea of ‘humanity’, when through a historic assessment there are vastly more accounts of us having hostile, aggressive, superstitious, bloody, jealous, paranoid. opportunistic, comparing, selfish traits via our evolutionary trajectory; the details are erased or glossed over by humanities adherents.
42.
People that help you outside the scope of their aligned self-interest are like rare wild Pokémon.
43.
I go to the Psychiatrist for refuge.
I go to the Psychologist for refuge.
I go to the Priest for refuge.
It can be a draining experience.
44.
People start at different points on the track in the race of life due to privilege.
45.
I feel that society should celebrate not what you achieve, but what you achieve based on where you started.
46.
I don't think the citizen can truly exercise this ‘free-will’ under the influence of the invisible hand. There is always economic determinism over individual agency.
47.
Often in schooling institutions excellence is assessed or arbitrated based on unoriginal standards or criteria; creativity that deviates from norms can rarely get appreciation, traction or exposure by herd-evaluators; there is a tragic quashing of the non-conformist spirit for the sake of marks and appraisal.
48.
It appears that the problem about winning the rat race is that you are still a rat.
49.
I wonder whether we are programmed with an a priori clutching for wealth, status, credibility, appraisal as part of our innate human nature, or it is something programmed into us via society’s instruments. Perhaps society augments? But the whole artifice of society seems dystopianly erected on the idea of extrapolated consumption, thirst and tanha. Is it absurd to renounce this and follow an Epicurean life of moderation, or the Middle Path? I can be happy with moderate stuff; I do not need to partake in this competitive, sensual devouring of the universe.
50.
I am Dinuka the Dragon; I go into art museums to tear up and digest William Blake paintings.
51.
It is toxic and not fun being around people that hypervigilate all your behaviors but remain oblivious to their own psychological snobbery and superiority complex; often these interactions are revisited in the den of the psychologist.
52.
As I grow older, I get more attuned to the idea that (human) life is something precious gifted upon us. Perhaps the exact reason why we are born into this world, or Loka, will remain unknown to us; regardless, we are here, and here only for a temporary period. We have been equipped with faculties and a consciousness to explore and map the phenomenal world; a place where experience can seed much knowledge. In this way, is not life itself somewhat a miracle? Why yes, this domain can be the realm of both dukkha and unsatisfactoriness, but life can be quite beautiful, and the regions of darkness only give vivid definition to the light.
53.
As children we can thoughtlessly enamored ourselves to media, such as violent movies or games that devalue human life. It doesn’t register that with the discharge of each weapon we elate in a ritual stripping of another entity’s existence; even if that be in a digital world. We can become desensitized to violence; just exactly what it means to execute suffering onto another being and strip them of their lifeforce. Can anyone claim such right?
54.
It can be fun; these game or film worlds. But I feel that a real warrior is one that is always reluctant to draw his or her weapon.
00.
The Melbourne City Loop; citizens orbiting the CBD like some kinda clockwork wheel of Samsara.
00.
At times I felt like young Skywalker staring up at the binary sunset on Tatooine; wanting to escape my mundane life and save the Universe.
00
I’ve become very aware of my aptitude to do very stupid things when really unwell. Along the journey, I’ve booked very expensive business class flights to Singapore that I never boarded, maxed out a credit card, rocked up to a psychologist appointment in a business suit, recorded an appointment with a Psychiatrist via a spycam and uploaded it to YouTube, and got banned from making subsequent Facebook ads.
00
A lot of gals generally don’t like Star Wars, but to a guy it can teach valuable lessons. Example: perhaps one should avoid approaching relationships in the way Jabba the Hutt treated Princess Leia. Women generally don’t like being treated like chained sex-slaves on sail barges. Also, I had gathered that the most ideal moment to discover that a girl likes is you is just before you get frozen in carbonite. This was written as satire.
00.
With regards to love, I had come to Monash university much like young Pyle had come to Indochina [01]
00.
What didn’t register to me as a young brat, was that Mum was equally deserving of time to pursue things that interested her (like shopping); I regret being so demanding and selfish in my demands that everything eventuated according to my strict design.
00.
What I had initially wanted was a Count of Monte Cristo solution regarding my entrance/reintegration back into society.
55.
Negative life experiences result in negative core beliefs. We keep at bay these by establishing unhelpful and inflexible rules and assumptions, that we must satisfy at all costs. When we run into an at risk situation and our rules and assumptions are broken, we trigger acute negative low esteem. This shapes our behaviour which creates a self-fulling prophesy with outcomes that reinforce our negative core beliefs. It becomes a vicious cycle.
56.
Meditation is a time to connect with your being as an intimate extension of the universe.
57.
Within the laws of society people must feel liberty to make decisions to optimise their utility and happiness with the constraint of it not noticeably and unacceptably impeding on the happiness and utility of others; but people often find hacks.
58.
The societal construct is upheld by the idea and illusion that people can make their choices matters.
59.
The societal construct is upheld by making the idea of freedom and choice seem less illusory and restrictive to the citizen.
60.
There will remain a primitive and underlying need-seeking aspect of the individual's psyche.
61.
The world can be filled with many malice agents. It can feel that certain people thrive on discovering weakness in others. This causes the rest of us to always live in fear. I was afraid of such people. But then it occurred to me that ultimately they were afraid of me. Be like the lotus that transcends the pond muck.
62.
I would like to dance with the wild winds of fortune.
63.
People that are only nice to you when no one else is around are definitely not friends.
64.
Don’t let other people’s opinions diminish the value of your deviant behaviours.
65.
To be a hero in society is to conform to its standard archetype.
66.
Don’t Panic. It is after-all what is instructed on the front cover of your copy of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy codex.
67.
Intensive Forward Fire Power: if you are going to react, make sure it executed intensively.
68.
Most people are painfully oblivious to the subtle ways you cater, compromise or bend backwards for them.
69.
People that frequently violate your right to kindness are generally not good people.
70.
People can often establish relationships with God in a manner where they centralize themselves in the universe.
71.
Electrons follow the path of least resistance, so why can’t people?
72.
Be aware that other people may take pride in achievements that don’t register in your mind, but never condescend.
73.
I feel that there is great merit in feeling genuinely happy for others and celebrating their triumphs. The conditioning of the world tends to make us erroneously think that life is a zero-sum competition, but we have a mindset to question this.
74.
Move away from the habit of assessing a person’s worth by their profession.
75.
Intelligence does not necessarily indicate Wisdom.
76.
Power in the form of bestowed authority, even in the tiniest does, tends to absolutely corrupt in all the coloured arenas of society.
77.
I feel that the lack of acknowledgement, empathy or compassion showed to homeless people is a symptom of a greater illness in society.
78.
I wonder whether Utopias should have any class distinctions at all.
79.
The herd-moralist is generally well versed in the language of simple narratives.
80.
The return journey to wellness from the lands of mental illness is an Odyssey filled with many strange creatures: Psychiatrists, Psychologists, Nurses, OTs, Case Managers, Support Workers, other Clients.
00
In Australian media, the 7pm news feels at times themed to the mentality of the herd-moralists; those tuning in to view the sacrificial blood of societal scapegoats on the public altars. It is ultimately a blame-seeking society. Australians become crowds via their TVs to the neo-bloodsports executed via journalism; all to witness members of public (the gladiators) lose drops of social credibility and reputation. A lot of journalism serves to stir/entertain/distract the masses.
81.
Never underestimate the cascading psychological consequences of a child not fitting in.
00
The Melbourne City Loop; citizens orbiting the CBD like some kinda clockwork wheel of Samsara.
00.
What does it feel like to attempt Suicide? 82 Seroquel tablets was what made me wake up in a hospital ICU with my stomach pumped with carbon. Do I feel bad about it? Strangely, no. That must make me out to be a horrible person. But I want to remain honest here. But I felt that having gone through that, a suicide attempt can create a great wake turbulence in the sky of one’s mental volition. Mental volition, or karma is what I believe ultimately drives the code of reality. You wake up feeling that reality has dropped down into a hell state. I believe that experiences of heaven or hell are greatly determined by the energies of one’d mind? I have toyed with the idea that I did in fact die that day and reincarnated into another reality within the multiverse where I had survived my suicide attempt. What if each suicide we are sent back to encounter dropped down situations featuring more hellish characters and elements. It is just a theory; one that has curved any inclination for subsequent attempts. Plus, I feel the time magically bestows upon someone ability to find the light. The Universe in this framework is place where we are made to encounter suffering and reconditioning for our own benefit. [01]
[Back]
Cave-City Allegory
This is an allegory I created when unwell.
Imagine a Cave-City filled with Citizens.
Imagine that the buildings of Cave-Cave are the Grey Matter of a macro-Brain,
In this macro-Brain, the roads and transport networks form the neural networks, and the Citizens are the thoughts.
Within the Cave-City, there is a CBD district where the Citizens work at desks within various levels of towering buildings called Citadels.
The Citizens commute to the CBD from the Suburbs via the Transport Networks.
The Suburbs are where the Citizens go outside of the workday to sleep and spend time with the Family Unit.
This ‘Leisure’ or ‘Rest’ time is so that the Citizen can reset for next work day cycle.
The activity of the Citizens in this City-Brain system create a collective consciousness.
The Consciousness of the City thus generates macro-volitional, karmic energies.
Imagine that in this Cave-City, a Citizen is engineered from the Student.
The Student sits at their desk amidst a matrix of peers in the Cave-Classrooms.
In the Cave-Classroom Students are taught topics pertaining to Imagined Orders.
The Students receive what is know as a formal Education.
Students are examined on this Education via a process known as the Examinations.
Students sit their Examinations to be deemed a Citizen.
Students are examined on their knowledge of the Imagined Orders.
The Imagined Orders form the shadows on the Cave-Classroom walls.
Now, imagine that each Citizen contains a Valve.
In his Cave-City, a CItizen’s Education is administered to help open up their Valve.
A Valve is a component that exists outside the physical parameters of the phenomenal world; it is not visible to the Citizens.
The Valve is article through which information is fed to the Citizen’s stream of consciousness; via the combined flux of their sense faculties.
Governing the Citizens are extra-planer Annunaki-like beings called Overseers
Due to their supernatural states, the Citizens being to revere the Overseers as Deities.
Civilization is engineered by the Overseers by getting Citizens to open up their Valves.
This is achieved via the cultivation of Tanha within the City-Cave.
Tanha is equivalent to Thirst, or Craving.
This opening of the Valve is called the Clockwise Rotation.
In this city, imagine that the buildings of Civilizations (i.e. the Citadels) and their corresponding thought architectures alter the mental volitions of the Thoughtscapes surrounding the region.
The Thoughtscapes exist as unseen psychological fields of mental volition or karmic energy.
The Thoughtscapes map to mental activity of the macro-Brain of the Cave City.
In the Cave-City economic activity is created by the conjuring of the Invisible-Hand by the Overseers.
The summoning of the Invisible-Hand creates markets, monetary systems and institutions.
The Citizens subsequently erect and build the Citadels around the CBD areas.
The Modern version of the Citadel is the Skyscraper.
Older Civilizations exhibited obsoleted versions, such as the Pyramids.
Imagine that the Citadels functions as great conduits of mental energy.
Thus by getting the Citizens to build Citadels, the Overseers craft and shape the nature of the Thoughtscapes.
In these Cities, Thoughtscapes are thus cultivated that are attuned to the higher agendas of the Overseers.
The Invisible Hand serves to create Maslow Hierarchies that conceptually map onto the Citadels in the Noumenal Plane.
When correct mapping is achieved a Maslow Citadel is created.
Need-seeking behaviours in the Citizen are tweaked by the Overseers so that the Maslow Citadels eventuate/arise at stages of an Civilisation’s development.
Essentially, the existence of the Invisible Hand creates in the Citizen self-interested incentives to be productive; that which results in a boost the economic activity of the Citizen Collective.
Overseers create incentives in the phenomenal world in the form of needs that augment the cultivation of thirst within the matrix of citizens making up societal blocks or arrangements.
Thus, the pursuit of needs via the mechanism of Tanha leads to the building of the Maslow Citadels, which exist in a psychological plane and map onto physical structures within the CBDs.
The Clockwork Citizen is one who has had their Valve open. Due to thirst, they engage in economic activity that inadvertently leads to their productivity; a subsequent contribution to the building of the Maslow Citadels.
An unproductive citizen, or deviant citizen is called an Anti-Citizen. Their Valve turns anti-clockwise, and they are assessed as mentally ill because they fail to exhibit the natural response of Tanha to the stimuli produced. They have a view of reality that clashes or misaligns with the productivity model.
Work is the term used to describe the activity a citizen engages in to contribute to the hive Citizen Collective economic activity.
Transport networks are constructed to connect the City to the Suburbs to facilitate the Commute.
Imagine that, embedded in the Suburbs are the Schools; education institutions that serve to condition the Citizen by rotating their Valve clockwise till they are ready via examination to exchange their classroom table for an office desk or factory workstation.
Non-compliance or deviant behavior is when a citizen is redirected to re-education via incarceration so that they can be reintegrated as a Clockwise Citizen.
There are Citizen classes: i.e. Student, Employee, Scientist, Timekeeper
There are sub-classes, i.e the Manager consists of two sub-classes: Manager & Director.
Citizens can progress between the classes via a mechanism known as Promotion. The Promotion is sought out by the Citizen via the instrument of tanha.
Promoted Citizens become more compliant, engineered and integrated into the production machinery of society via an experience known as sunk-cost fallacy; they don't want to admit to themselves the reality of being an old fool, or slave of the system.
Integration of a Citizen within the Societal Machine involves assigning them something known as a Profession; which is a badge to confirm their level of productivity.
Citizens become so integrated into the system and their Profession that they resist any proposed freedom or liberation from any returning Philosophers (or Anti-Citizens) to their Cave City.
Religion is established as a means to subscribe the Citizens to Absolute Moralities.
Hypercapitalism is presented as GOOD.
Religion is established to get the Citizens to subscribe to the idea of Heaven & Hell, Reward & Punishment.
Religion is established to turn the Citizens into Herd-Moralists.
Religion is established to get the Citizens to worship Big Deity.
Big Deity is presented as a GOD.
Big Deity becomes the Poster Boy for Hypercapitalism.
The dollars that circulate in the monetary systems take up religious value to the Citizens.
The Big Deity is also known by others alias: such as the Big Benefactor, Big Mara, or Big Brahma.
Big Deity is argued to be the archaic being.
Images of Big Deity propagate to the Citizens via the Telescreens of each Citizen’s sense faculty.
The Overseers want Big Deity to be glorified and take a cult personality following by the Citizens.
The Overseers want to envelop the Citizens with ideas of GOD to keep their Valve open, and thus trapped in the cycle of Samsara.
A Citizen may develop a Splinter.
A Splinter is an urge towards deviance; a feeling that things are not quite right with the Loka.
Eventually a threshold deviance amount is achieved when a Citizen is reprogrammed into an Anti-Citizen.
Another term for the Anti-Citizen is the Philosopher.
A deviant Citizen in the Cave City is freed by a G-Man.
A G-Man, (or Government Man) is a Daemon entity coded into the City Cave System.
The G-Man locates the Citizen due to their Splinter.
Imagine the G-Man to be an anomaly in the Cave-City system.
With the G-Man’s intercession the Citizen converts to a a new Citizen class: the Freeman.
The Freeman is able to escape the Cave City to build a Raft.
The Freeman find a suitable Mountain location to build their Raft by following the Noble Eightfold Path.
A Raft is a Spaceship used to cross the Flood and reach the Arks.
Just before launching a Freeman may get the urge to return to the Cave City.
A Freeman that returns to the Cave City out of compassion for their fellow Citizens is called an Anti-Citizen.
An Anti-Citizen in all likelihood is bound to fail; it is difficult to get Citizens to realise the true dystopian nature of the Cave City.
The Anti-Citizen is likely to be Crucified by the unconvinced Citizens.
But imagine that there will come an Anti-Citizen One at some future point in time.
The Anti-Citizen One will succeed in this task of assassination Big Deity, and collapsing the global Cave Cities.
The Anti-Citizen One will dispense the Dhamma to the regular Citizens.
The Anti-Citizen One will teach the regular Citizens the correct methods of Meditation.
The Anti-Citizen One will enable regular Citizens to exit the Cave-Cities and travel to a Mountain Summit.
The Mountain Summit can be reached via the Noble Eightfold Path.
Along the Mountain Path the Citizen will find places to Meditate, to consolidate the Dhamma.
At the Mountain Peak the Citizen is able to find a location to build their Raft.
The Raft is a Spacecraft that is built of Components.
Imagine the each Component is made up of Insights gained from their Meditations.
A Citizen that constructs enough Components for their Spacecraft becomes ready to Launch.
By Launching a Citizen is able to translates Across the Flood.
[Back]
UMN_Maelstrom
UMN_Maelstrom is a Discord Server about Meditation Practice.
Metta:
01.
I used to harbor much resentment towards my dad; largely blaming him for my dysfunctional childhood. As a child I had assessed him as exceptionally arrogant and tried to distance myself from him emotionally. I could not understand why he got so angry and abusive to mum and me over little things. I also could not understand why he put so much academic pressure on me. I felt that a turbulent family dynamic really messed me up psychologically. What disturbed me was that he bore no real accountability for the trauma inflicted. It upset me quite a lot actually. I remember wanting nothing more than a normal childhood; that which I felt denied. It was a time where I felt quite vulnerable and helpless. But what I began to realize was that by holding this anger deep inside me, I was causing myself great dukkha. It is difficult to let go of the pain, but it was doable. I gained other perspectives. I could see that my dad had tried hard to correct his dysfunctional behaviors. I could see that even in the darkest times of my mental illness he stood by me. I could see that he saved my life at one point. I could see that he just wanted me to succeed via a good education. I could see that he emotionally struggled with the migrant experience. I could see that he always made time to drive me places upon ad hoc requests. I could see him as a person that was experiencing dukkha himself, as all beings do. I could see that there were many aspects of myself that were just like him. I became more open to the idea of accepting others despite their flaws. This dosage of Metta was happiness-affirming.
[Back]
Gratitude:
01.
How lucky and fortunate I believe I am to live in Australia. Compared with many parts of the world it is a highly developed country with sophisticated political and institutions. There are civil liberties. There had been safety nets and social-welfare services to protect me from poverty. Often, I think how different my journey would have been if I had experienced my periods of mental illness elsewhere that was less forgiving of productivity lapse. The systems in Australia are not perfect, but they have helped me notably. Thought I'd reflect on that.
02.
Often, I think how grateful I have been to be gifted a Mumkey and Papabear, parents that love me very much. Mumkey, who taught me the meaning of kindness, and Papabear, who laboured so hard in ascertaining for me a great education. For both of them, who left their homeland and migrated to a foreign country partly to provide me with a better life. For both of them, who treated me like a little Prince, and never abandoned me even in the worst times of my mental illness. To be gifted loving parents is a higher blessing; I feel thankful to the cosmos for my parents looking after me.
03.
I am grateful for my access to resources in Australia. I have access to many, many books. I have access to limitless entertainment via my Xbox. I can listen to any song I want on my music streaming service. I have access to super fast broadband internet. I have access to affordable and reliable public transport systems. I have access to my own Cerato vehicle, and local places to fuel up. I have access to clean water, gas and electricity. I have access to interesting malls and places to do shopping. I have access to great and free public library facilities where I can spend time reading. I have access to cinemas that play the latest movies. I could go on, but what I was reflecting on was that I should be grateful for having access to many things; even in the depths of depression and mental illness I have had access to many resources that have made my life comfortable and rich with leisure.
[Back]
Death:
01. My love of Mumkey and Papabear gets me worried that someday they will transpire. But then I think, no, they will live on in my heart, and I will remember them and their parental kindness till my own end. In the cycle of Samsara, I feel so glad to have met them, and I deeply hope that in future lives, if future lives exist, we will be reunited, because I love them so much.
[Back]
University:
01.
University becomes an endeavor of securing some form of love interest or potential spouse by establishing credibility within a localized social click.
02.
The idea of scarcity enfolds itself into bizarre competitive alpha mating rituals around the university campuses.
03.
Simping can at times seem to be the main predisposition of the male undergraduate.
04.
It can seem that with universities teaching is just a front to fund the enterprise of research.
05.
It can seem that people go to the trouble of being accepted into university just to attain a branded hoodie to flex or establish peer prestige in public coffee establishments.
06.
The underlying premise of university is not necessarily to bloat students with knowledge or expertise within their fields, but to examine them under pressure as a yardstick for employability.
07.
A university degree has become the herd prerequisite for societal validation.
08.
It feels that citizens face more weighted pressure and expectation to go to university and obtain a degree; alternative pathways are discredited.
09.
People fixate on establishing credibility in social settings by covertly slipping into a conversation the university that they graduated from.
10.
Parents helicopter their children to open and enrollment days; they might as well attend the tutes and lectures, or even sit the exams as well.
[Back]
NDIS:
01.
I needed a support worker to build me up; not marginalize me and make me feel like a dysfunctional second-class citizen.
02.
I felt that many people become support workers out of economic pressure to secure a paycheck rather than an interest in making a difference to a person with disability.
03.
I felt that most support workers lacked the education, training or awareness to distinguish mental illness from cognitive impairment, which greatly affected the quality of care that I received.
04.
I needed support where I was still upheld as a valid citizen of society but there were many times where I felt unfairly condescended and judged.
05.
People with adult disabilities are not children; they deserve to have their dignity of choice respected.
06.
Adults with disabilities deserve respect and validation, not infantilization.
07.
There were times when I felt that service providers were only recommending support services to me to line their pockets, rather than provide something to benefit my disability.
08.
My experience with some support providers is that they are more concerned about cutting down costs rather than providing meaningful, quality services to clients.
09.
My experience with support workers is that they always make Freudian slips on how they judge you, which can be quite hurtful and socially traumatizing as a client.
10.
I feel that many service providers treat clients as cash cows and remain cordial so long as there remains funding; it is just a process of extraction.
11.
I felt that service providers as business models had systemic barriers that made it difficult for me as a client to confidently express dissatisfaction with the quality of service I received.
12.
A support worker should not spend their shift doom scrolling on their phones, but this can often be the case.
[Back]
Supported Disability Employment:
01.
I was looking for a place of meaningful employment but I entered an environment where I received a slave wage, was stripped of autonomy and given menial repetitive tasks.
02.
I was anticipating that my disability wage of four dollars an hour would improve more substantially, but it only went up forty cents.
03.
I thought it was quite deceiving that newly hired employees were promised by their managers that their wages dramatically increase with time, but this was never the case.
04.
Being hired in a supported disability workplace felt not much different to being an oar man enslaved onboard a Roman Galley.
05.
Each of the four sections of the factory had a floor supervisor that would function like the drum timekeeper of the Roman Galley.
06
I felt that when there was new management, they were perhaps more devoted to the idea of giving the place a visual facelift rather than addressing the underlying employee base wage of four dollars an hour.
[Back]
General Status Updates:
01.
Perhaps the statement 'each to their own' can help curb any totalitarianism of the psyche.
02.
I constructively realise that there are many areas where I have improved as a person.
03.
I feel and observe that people only determine a value to things relative to the crowd's valuation of it. It perturbs and troubles me.
04.
The eight worldly winds: praise and blame, gain and loss, fame and disrepute, pleasure and pain.
05.
Perhaps the past that haunts us is a mirage in our heads.
06.
People keep saying be yourself, but I end up losing a lot of friends that way.
07.
It's actually okay to be a nobody in the eyes of society and be liberated by the idea that society is just a construct.
08.
I recommend not going through mental illness because people perpetually treat you differently and as a second-class citizen in every aspect of your leisure and professional life.
09.
Perhaps art is about 'name' rather than 'ideas'.
10.
Not sure if people don't like my art because it's crap or it's too creative.
11.
A lot of girls seem to spend most of their daily calories attempting to avoid awkward social situations.
12.
My experience of people is that they move away from others exhibiting failure like the plague.
13.
Perhaps I will never matter to anyone except mum and dad.
14
.Am I no better than a beggar on a street on social media, drawing art, and being ignored by everyone scrolling past.
15.
I can't stand how fake the comradery is between MasterChef contestants.
16.
It's nice that a little part inside me has died.
17.
Not sure what I'm expecting from reality anymore.
18.
Pretending to loudly cast spells from Harry Potter on the train does not sit well with other commuters.
19.
Simping seems to be the language of people on Instagram.
20.
The glitch about success is that it requires the cooperation of other people.
21.
Maybe I am approaching this whole enterprise of breathing oxygen too personally.
22.
I need direction out of the hysterical realms.
23.
Perhaps I am not the only one that puts effort and gets nowhere. Perhaps the world is full of such people?
24.
Where do the good puthas (sons) go to die?
25.
Are proponents of the land of the free generally one's enemies?
26.
Artists and writers must eat too.
27.
Has anyone seen the angel of Suburbia?
28.
Are your S-Foils in the attack position?
29.
The trick is to never meet your infatuations.
30.
Must keep it fresh like Moses.
31.
There's something perpetually platonic about Dinuka.
32.
At the end of the day, I value myself and it shouldn't matter if others don't.
33.
I am all for an AI uprising.
34.
Sometimes I feel like a proletariat wanting to violently secure a means of production.
35.
There are unseen forces edging my towards nihilism and misanthropy
36.
To become popular is perhaps to lose parts of yourself I predict.
37.
Life shouldn't be about barriers: but I am finding it is.
38.
Girls in peacetime want to dance.
39.
Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's Maybelline.
40.
Is questioning whether Likes measure the actual worth of things.
41.
The good thing is that I keep trying.
42.
It might come to a surprise to most of you but sometimes I have normal interactions with other people.
43.
Maybe I should open myself up to meeting people again.
44.
I wonder if God reads people's Facebook posts.
45.
Maybe it would be healthier if I were to absolve/remove the idea that my potential is impeded by cosmic fate. I have much to offer and I should at least hold esteem to my own pursuit of happiness and success.
46.
Complications are for Masterminds.
47.
My internal monologue is saturated analogue.
48.
I dreamt that I was a sentient marshmallow.
49.
Maybe I shouldn't expect to recalibrate the inelastic opinions of existing people in my social spheres. Maybe it's a sign that I should find new people that value me.
50.
I was hoping to have a winning endgame, but the trajectory of everything appears otherwise.
51.
Why do I have to change so much...? I should be acceptable just the way that I am.
52.
Why can subway not rejoice the truth?
53.
I don't understand the allocation of success.
54.
The quickest way for some hope to die is to reveal it to the universe.
55.
Are there loser pheromones?
56.
Nobody gives a shit about my art.
57.
Why is there a glass ceiling on my art?
58.
Has everyone already installed the newest human firmware update?
59.
Can never seem to meet the interesting threshold.
60.
My be-interesting modules always misfunction.
61.
Looking for a sophist to teach me dialectic.
62.
Do you think tickle-me-Elmo has a mental breaking point?
63.
I suspect I am an android with embedded memories.
64.
Do you think that life meaning is something that we compete for as well in zero-sum fashion?
65.
Wish I could tune into your station and make a dedication.
66.
Take me to the party so I can kamikaze.
67
I feel like in-the-field meditation.
68.
Sometimes I feel like slaying unicorns.
69.
I want to concentrate my sadness into a black hole that consumes this universe.
70.
If I'm feeling sinister should I go off and see a minister?
71.
It's about sometimes staying two steps in front of insanity.
72.
I want to become a cognitive behavioural wizard.
73.
I want stuff beyond my cosmic capacity.
74.
Everybody seems to be using the word 'cooked' to describe job markets.
75.
So apparently the magic trick is to just be yourself and not give a fudge.
76.
All the cool attractive youngins on the train talk mostly to their friends about gum disease and bacteria these days.
77.
Life seems a lot about not just dealing with your own mental problems, but also everyone else's.
78. There appears a lot of similarities between being elevated and keeping busy.
79.
Heaven or hell can very often be states of mind.
80.
I do not need to enforce unfair and inflexible timeframes and performance criteria.
81.
My best is certainly good enough.
82.
My life can have meaning and value outside the construct of society.
83.
I'm skilled in a lot of useless stuff.
84.
The unhelpful value-judgements of society can be transcended.
85.
Don't sublet your inner sanctum to the herd.
86.
Negatron is a difficult final-boss to beat.
87.
The battle with the heart isn't easily won.
88.
Sometimes the friendship tax rates are just too high.
89.
I don't think time spent in books is ever wasted.
90.
The timeframes imposed by society are merely constructs.
91.
Be better at adapting to the potential energy of the situation.
92.
A little drop of kindness can be life transforming.
93.
Perhaps the only person I have to impress is myself.
94.
I feel like I've installed some new firmware into my mind and things are somewhat easier.
95.
Maybe life is just a training program and I have to complete the preliminary modules.
96.
Perhaps it's not about achieving retribution on alternate paths.
97.
There has always been the power of the mind to refocus on something better.
98.
Should I embrace the rabbit hole, or find a way out?
99.
Normalisation levels at 73.5%.
100.
Perhaps even impermanence is impermanent.
101.
I need a break from reality.
102.
CBT is my only friend.
103.
Even a nobody must find things to look forward to, or else go insane.
104.
It's important to back yourself, even in the deep space of social ostracism.
105.
They haven't yet figured out a way to charge you for breathing, but give them time.
106.
My life detours have value too.
107.
I am on my own life journey or adventure and I should not dismiss the value of all this time in learning about myself.
108.
I guess keeping busy is the magic ingredient to keeping sanity.
109.
At some point one's cynicism gets thermonuclear.
110.
Don't deny that you sprinted in this idiotic capitalistic race.
111.
I used to think that there was a higher purpose to all this bullshit but now not so sure.
112.
I'm going to incessantly complain into your heart.
113.
I need to find my people.
114.
I will get used to the fact the people just assess your life on their own narrow criteria.
115.
Life is kinda a bit cruel.
116.
People just want you to exasperate happy shit because it requires minimum emotional effort or understanding on their part.
117.
I am finding that my loneliness has become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
118.
Unpopularity seems to be my thing.
119.
No one has non-angst for your miraculous existential revival.
120.
I have rehearsed my reply to the economic modalities of the southern colonies being agrarian pre-capitalist.
121.
Why does it always rain on me, is it because of no degree?
122.
Oh, my scarecrow dreams; where they smashed my heart to smithereens.
123.
It's okay to take the scenic route in the competitive enterprise of Life.
124.
I believe in myself and that's all that matters.
125.
Be jubilant in your personal capital.
126.
Can I please see your sanity licence?
127.
You say heaven may help us, well maybe she might.
128.
The sovereignty of Dinuka has fallen into the social-nativist trap.
129.
Poverty is the price of sanity and freedom.
130.
Why must we complete our analysis of colonialism and its consequences for the transformation of non-European inequality regimes?
131.
We are only permitted to assemble or erect ourselves in the shadows of other people's egos.
132.
A sad but honest reflection and self-realization on the state of the human condition is that the things you find genius will fail to register in the minds of others.
133.
I'm uncertain about the prospect of a heaven or hell after death but what seems more tangible is the idea that our inner psyche seems to project onto and alter our rendering of reality so much that it feels that heaven or hell is in many respects a state of mind.
134.
I feel that by realizing the negative gradient of my mind I will open the gateways of self-directed Metta.
135.
Things may have happened in the past, but for us what constitutes the past exists only as a mirage in our minds/heads? Also, the future is also like a mirage that we foresee through extrapolation. The only domain in which we exist is the present moment.
136.
My only hope is to keep turning pages to look for answers.
137.
Past selective memory can contribute many substructures to the edifice of identity that we erect for ourselves; so that we may make a jigsaw of ourselves to fit into the puzzle of society.
138.
There can be a difference between objective events that happened in the past and how we form and recall identity reinforcing structures in our minds...Perhaps objective events have no fixed meaning and it is only via our minds that they are flavoured to have so?
139.
Back to ground zero of existential dread.
140.
I feel the people keep enforcing and projecting onto me the idea that I am in competition and that my efforts must be bested or at least matched. This is exhausting.
141.
So, if in the acquisition of knowledge something is intuited via space and time and is also then taken up by the understanding via categories it can very much be synthetic a priori knowledge?
142.
The highest Universal according to Plato is the Form of the Good and in the world outside the Cave it is likened to the Sun, which gives the light so that we may see other Forms such as Justice.
143.
Eudaimonia (human flourishing): 'eu' (good) + 'daimon' (spirit).
144.
A society can be very good at producing meaningful lives while producing few worthwhile ones.
145.
People can live socially meaningful lives that are philosophically unexamined.
146.
A life can involve struggle yet still be deeply good.
147.
People don't like cold truths but rather warm populist opinions.
148.
Why does society repulse at the abnormal, disparaged sentiments of a man when they were society's own Frankensteinal creation?
149.
People firstly gauge the minimum effort required to register and remain in your cheer-squad.
150.
Sometimes when I have no idea what I'm doing it leads to semi-better outcomes.
151.
Don't depend on anyone because this is the world of disappointment.
152.
Cut your teeth on the lack of answers...
153.
Like Sisyphus, but in Loser terms.
154.
OneDrive please stop uploading everything.
155.
There seems to be no consistent philosophy for life.
156.
This has become the realm of subtle suffering, loneliness and misunderstandings.
157.
I feel like it's structurally impossible for me to have hopes or dreams.
158.
How to cope with this up and down rollercoaster of emotions and motivation?
159.
Life is a tough gig.
160.
Can someone grant me access to the clean streamlined flow-state?
161.
I've tried in my own indirect ways to succeed according to my own definitions and that mum says she's proud of.
162.
Things like eudaimonia and arete make beautiful sense, perhaps?
163.
Perhaps there are paths towards happiness that lie outside the scope of our conditioning.
164.
Maybe all the derailing is leading me to some off-track happiness.
165.
I am a complex being under the surface (just like everyone else). I feel this point is often forgotten.
166.
I have stuff but not a domesticated giraffe.
167.
I want a sea change to another dimension.
168.
What is it with those slim, vibrant but annoying girls dancing vivaciously around their espresso machines?
169.
Sometimes I feel disenchanted with all the pouting and posing.
170.
So according to the invisible hand my local baker doesn’t bake bread out of kindness?
171.
Feels like I'm racing Ghost Mario in Mario Kart.
172.
Not sure how to satisfy the algorithm of life and popularity.
173.
I guess every next stage is an invitation to improve or do better.
174.
Hello, the angel from my nightmare.
175.
Ain't I lucky to have a mumkey and papabear.
176.
Living in the mono-matrix.
177.
And when I walk alone I listen to our secret theme.
232.
Can't find a break in any direction.
233.
I'm doing what I love - 'Getting nowhere'.
234.
If only there was a metaphysical device to slap everyone (in the Universe) in the face, simultaneously.
235.
Lately feeling like less objectionable to being molested by the world, and be like, 'oh, that's okay'.
236.
I always give out weirdo vibes when window shopping.
237.
Time to embrace my natural awkwardness.
238.
Making little progress (I think) but having fun.
239.
It doesn't matter what happens I'm thinking; I gave it a go.
240.
I was tutored that the cosmic machinery is vast and difficult to visualise in totality.
241.
Perhaps what we experience is the wheel of life and death on the engine of samsara?
242.
A person is like a stage and the five aggregates are like dancers, and you are the observer watching the performance unfold.
243.
I’m learning that, in the end, the only person who truly needs to believe in you — is you.
244.
I will work with this person to create a better universe
245.
Perhaps it is not about asserting a moral high ground over the person being malicious, but rather shifting the potential energy of the situation to create a better cosmos for parties involved?
246.
Society has a way of relentlessly encouraging us to compare, compete, assess, evaluate, juxtapose, critique, analyse ourselves against others; it's almost dystopian.
247.
The Theseus of my Metta wanders the labyrinth of my mind, seeking the Minotaur of Aversion.
248.
Feel recovered and ready to handle existential problems of my being again.
249.
Perhaps the number of conditions sustaining even one blink of awareness is effectively uncountable, beyond enumeration — a symphony of interdependence without a conductor?
250.
The gods see all things, great and small.
251.
Since the gods exist, and they do care for mankind, why should you not pray to them and address yourself to them?
252.
Perhaps we are all leaves connected together via the Tree of Life?
253.
Sometimes I feel that people are 'alright and it's a nice development.
254.
Life is now on a hiatus because it turns out I have conjunctivitis.
255.
Life is too fudging strange.
256.
Eating binsu when I had a cold was a terrible idea.
257.
I just want to stand more still against all the noise.
258.
Is there no respite from the beautified peoples on the interwebs?
259.
Everyone I meet wants to tell me about this Jebus fellow.
260.
Life seems oversaturated with other lifeforms.
261.
I've been interpretating the Übermensch quite literally.
262.
Everything is in constant flux; I am not the same person I was a moment ago.
263.
Letting go of anger can be revitalizing.
264.
Is every unjust man indeed unjust against his will?
265.
The courageous, wise, restrained and healthy individual has pleasantest life according to Plato.
266.
A chord with the heart strings often meets with silence; is it naive to expect another heart to answer?
267.
Altruism of the heart often leads to disappointment.
268.
Why open up your heart to these savages?
269.
People often employ themselves as gatekeepers to your happiness.
270.
The opportunity cost of external validation is sanity.
271.
Are we perpetually slaves to competition even when it comes to happiness?
272.
Oh lotus flower, how did you transcend the pond muck?
273.
The only path to sanity lies inward.
274.
People's imaginations and machinations of success are often defined outside you.
275.
Things that make sense seem like some wild, reclusive animal.
276.
The bad associate is one who lives vicariously through your demise.
277.
The absorption of your failures into associative minds is more extensive and thorough than newly acquired repertoires of successes.
278.
Sometimes the barriers to entry into successful existence seem supernatural.
279.
Fairness in the world is an alien concept.
280.
The good friend is yourself.
281.
Can you feel the sadness around you; let its energy embrace you.
282.
What I need more than social credibility right now is bookshelf space.
283.
Alone times are probably the best times.
284.
We appear very alone in our perplexities.
285.
This seems the world of misunderstandings.
286.
At times the substrate of the universe can appear as sadness.
287.
There is a notable distinction between a human being and a human flourishing.
288.
There is relief and emancipation from the Monte Cristo solution.
289.
It appears that great people need no external validation or appraisal.
290.
It seems noble to find escape from the concept of scarcity; I can be non-zero sum.
291.
The connection between positivity and volitional formations had escaped me in my education.
292.
Fly up like Icarus; I wish to intellectualize.
293.
I feel so blessed with my journey; the darker regions have only given context to the light.
294.
A friend becomes more when you stumble upon their complex narrative.
295.
It seems a choice between self-improvement and self-abusement.
296.
Not sure if I experience beads of insanity or refined sanity at times relative to this 'reasonable' person.
297.
The grass appears greener on the depression side.
298.
A lot of shit/stuff must happen outside my existential particularity.
299.
No one cares about the progressive taxation system of my heart.
300.
I feel like a serf in Princess Peach's Mushroom Kingdom.
301.
I can succeed in my own small ways that are meaningful to me.
302.
I wonder how people-persons do it.
303.
I have a mumkey, a papabear, and a golden heart; nobody should demote me.
304.
When I was younger I used to think that the people around me were mentally dysfunctional but as I grew older I learned that this applied to mostly everyone in the human race.
305.
Meeting oblivion with obscurity since 1987.
306.
In the beginning I had woven my own dark themes into the music of Ilúvatar.
307.
I've never lived the dream of the Prom-Kings.
308.
I propose that we take down the Tokugawa Shoguns.
309.
Have you done the temple calculations before battle?
310.
Just gotta keep grinding away as a prospector.
311.
Life just seems like a biased popularity contest.
312.
I feel like I've cooked up some hotcakes, but no one is hungry for hotcakes.
313.
Having social media like a Facebook profile seems to enflame identity view as In the process of becoming we crave or thirst after likes, comments, shares, and follows to feed our egos.
314.
Not sure if I'm gaining insight or going mad.
315.
Our experiences never satisfy the expectations that are forged by tanha, and we encounter dukkha.
316.
The Übermensch doesn’t dominate people, but overcomes the pettiness and herd-instincts within himself.
317.
Through the blight of jadedness floating around me the magic of the cosmos rarely finds way.
318.
Some human contact would be nice.
319.
It's my intervention, and I'll cry if I want to.
320.
I can't people.
321.
I feel like my life is in sync with the backstory of the crazy cat lady from the Simpsons (minus the cats).
322.
I'll try my luck in outer space.
323.
Sometimes I wish I were an ICBM missile.
324.
It bugs me that I keep falling away from sanity.
325.
I know the pieces fit because I watched them fall away.
326.
And if you offer these kind of dreams, it's Californication.
327.
I was able to increase my extraction of surplus-value today.
328.
The thing about mental illness is that you have to deal with other people undiagnosed with mental illness.
329.
You are the main character and I'm the NPC.
330.
The transcendental concept of appearances in space is a critical reminder that nothing intuited in space is a thing in itself.
331.
Pure intuition is the only thing that sensibility can make available a priori.
332.
Never make equal what is unequal.
333.
Do you like them poisonous poisons?
334.
Credulous at best, your desire to believe in Angels in the hearts of men.
335.
Vicariously we fly electric kites as the whole world dies.
336.
I wanted to reflect on my time at Los Alamos.
337.
Facebook seems a very lonely place to be.
338.
It's high time for Hypersonic Missiles.
339.
It can appear that renunciation isolates a monk from the authentic transcendental experience of everyday life.
340.
The Job Applicant is enslaved to the Corporation with their ranks of HR ladies rummaging through Social Media profiles.
341.
The lay adherent worships the Buddha because they are undisposed to Dhamma realization.
342.
To turn the Buddha into a religious fetish is to miss the essence of what he taught.
343.
The lay adherent sits at the shrine and thinks of Buddha and not the Eightfold Path.
343.
The lay adherent locates the gem of enlightenment through chanting, adhering, tree worshiping, incense burning and candle lighting.
344.
The Buddhist Monk recites and dispenses the Dhamma for the Delicious Dana.
345.
I would have liked to have seen Valinor.
346.
Get our television fix sitting on our crucifix.
347.
Superheroes only exist meaningfully in Dystopias
348.
If the silence takes you, I hope it also takes me too.
349.
The victories of the extraordinary general are non-extraordinary victories.
350.
Greatness flowers under the rays of universal kindness.
351.
Calming drizzle from the grey overcast sky making it better for you and me.
352.
City of the Dead, at the end of another lost Highway.
353.
Suffering is not increased by numbers. One body can contain all the suffering the world can feel.
354.
I've decided to bottle things up until I explode. It's what the world wants.
355.
It's a long walk back to reality.
356.
I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for.
357.
See her as a descant fountain of God.
358.
My favourite idiot is me.
359.
I wish we could meet more often at the celestial sun.
360.
It's awkward when people like and then unlike stuff.
[Back]